Métis Musings

I used to be someone who thrived on routine. I know all of the benefits and I know what I need to do – it’s the getting there part lately that has been difficult!

I’ve been listening to the Mel Robbins podcast (sorry not sorry for talking about this a lot – it’s been a game changer for me and I have no shame) and one of the things she talks about is how long it can take before your behaviours become second nature. And sometimes, it’s also about unlearning behaviours that aren’t productive.

My current morning routine:

6:30am – alarm goes off, I hit snooze or more than likely, reset my alarm to a later time

7:00am – open my eyes and immediately launch into mindless scrolling, checking notifications… spending way too much time focused on other people’s lives than my own

7:30am – on a good day, I will either get dressed and go for a walk along the beach, or if it’s rainy, I’ll do yoga. On a not so good day, I’m still in bed, scrolling

8:00am – on a good day when I go for my walk, on my way home, I stop at a quaint little local coffee shop to get myself a Dirty Chai Latte (chai tea latte with a shot of espresso)

8:30am: at this point, I’m either feeling energized from my walk or yoga, or subconsciously shaming myself for being lazy which I’ve learned is not productive and does not help

9:00am – by this point, I’m showered and ready for the day, sit down at my computer and get ready to work

Truthfully, I aspire to be one of those people who wakes up at 5:30 or 6am and has half their day accomplished by the time I’m awake. Over the last year, I fell into some not so good routines that made it difficult and sometimes even impossible to be that person.

Trigger warning: I’m about to get real honest here, with all of you and with me. It’s the first time I’m sharing this to the world.

My evening routine began with having a glass of wine while I cooked dinner. I’d top that one up when I sat down to eat. I’d tidy up (or sometimes leave the mess for tomorrow Beks) and then pour another glass to sit down and watch TV. Before I knew it, I had polished off a bottle of wine on my own, had stayed up way too late and accomplished nothing productive. What’s worse is I would wake up the next morning feeling exhausted, often nauseous and not thrilled about working out or going for a walk, and being angry at night before me for making stupid decisions and not cleaning up after themselves.

It became such a vicious cycle that by the time I got to the weekend, all I wanted to do was sleep off my week of hangovers.

I feel shame and fear of judgment as a write this but hope that it makes others who are also struggling realize: you are NOT ALONE!

Unlearning that behaviour and routine has caused so many positive shifts in my life. I get so much more done in the evenings. I write more, I get my laundry washed, folded and put away in a single day, I rarely have a sink full of dishes sitting overnight. I read more, fill my mind with knowledge and imagination.

It is creating more space for me to do the things I love like crafting, learning to bead, calling a friend, meeting new people. Instead of being stuck inside this dark bubble for one, I’m creating an environment that is lighter, easier and full of optimism.

Today, I am brand new

I’m not the same old me

I’ve broken through

The heavy weight has been lifted

My true North has shifted

This path that I’m now taking

Won’t be void of hard days

I’ll persevere through the rise and fall

As I’m finding my way